Pirates of the Caribbean

Forget worldofjames, say hello to Matthew Ironbird

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because they arrrrrgh

Kellie applies the slap

Forget Worldofjames.com, for he is no more… welcome in his place, ooh arrrrrgh me hearties, Matthew Ironbird. For I have been turned into a Pirate ready to pillage by the good folk here at Disney…

Despite the steady drizzle that rained on Orlando yesterday, (yes, it does rain here too at time), we still managed to pack a lot into our afternoon in the Magic Kingdom park, largely as there  are enough attractions indoors to keep you occupied.

Almost all the rides are covered for one thing: Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin and the inimitable  Small World. If any ride will indoctrinate you to Disney, it’s Small World. I don’t know anyone who has ever come out of the ride without the song ingrained on their consciousness.

And then of course, there are the shows such as Mickey’s Philarmagic where 3D glasses help bring Mickey, Donald and some of Disney’s best loved film leads like Alladin to life.

With my new shipmates

Best of all though, and appealing to my slightly darker side, was the Pirate League in the park’s Adventureland where you can buy a series of pirate makeover packages – First Mate, Empress and Captain’s – which start from around 50 bucks without a full pirate costume and 125 with.

First you spin the ship’s wheel that rolls a pair of dice to select your new pirate name, then comes the makeover with a choice of six different face painting designs. Next, you’re kitted out with a sword and ear ring and – once an oath is sworn to Captain Jack Sparrow – ou get your personalised pirate certificate.

Somewhat predictably, I chose the ‘ghost pirate’ look which seems to include the most make up – hey if you’re going to do it, do it, right. Right? – and a pirate wench named Kellie went to work, recounting all sorts of pirate tales as she went. Did you know pirates started to wear ear rings as a form of acupuncture? Me either.

Once our group were all made up, off we went back into the park, starting our first ride as a new pirate band on… Pirates of the Caribbean, of course.